The Lanyard

 The Lanyard 

It’s authoritative, denotes purpose, justifies action and is identifying. 

What am I? 

Need more? 

It's worn around the neck, speaking for itself which is just as well because usually we know what’s coming. At least those on the wrong side of one think they know from experience. 

The answer? 

The Lanyard. 

One who wears a lanyard shall from hereon-in be known as a “lanyard- wearer”. 

I’ve met lots of them these lanyard wearers. My first memory was of a school office lanyard-wearer. Frowning, “where is your dinner money-THIS time?”. I kept my eyes on the ground managing only to lift them to view the bottom of her lanyard. 

That one seemed exasperated and judgy.

Sadly a good intro to her kind. 

Next were the teacher lanyard wearers who demanded lost reading books, trip letters and gym kits who berated my lack of focus, unable to recognise signs of malnourishment.  

Their lanyards I would have happily eaten.

And then the social worker who had been sent to ensure that my abysmally low attendance improved. Ignoring the bigger picture she was on a mission. Her lanyard waved around my face as she pulled at my wrists but failed to get me out of the cupboard I was hiding in. I dug my nails into her hands as hard as I could. She became shall we say, dysregulated. I think I made her cry. 

Then suddenly there were no lanyards. I wondered why? 

When it was dark and cold and lonely.  Witnessing delusions, closed curtains, empty fridge and cupboards, no washing machine, no cooker, hunger pains, fainting, intermittent electricity supply.  

No school, no contact, no care. No lanyards. 

The housing officer was the worst lanyard wearer I ever met. “Why is she crying?” She asked my mother dispassionately as she showed us round the grotty homeless accommodation. She went on to explain coolly the consequences of refusing it and becoming “intentionally homeless”. I despised that lanyard wearer with all my 8 year old heart. 

Police don’t really wear lanyards. Well except those CID ones who sat across the table from me when I was 12, recording our interview. Those charges stayed on my record for 24 years and had to be rehashed to countless other lanyard wearers over the years. 

The police woman I spat on through the cell peep hole, after a shoplifting spree probably didn’t wear a lanyard either. Or the ones who took me “home”, screamed in my face or tried to reach me with analogies about crows. None of them had lanyards that I remember, just uniforms. 

Same difference. 

The doctors and nurses who struggled to work out that the 3 days of unconsciousness was actually caused by a serious attempt on my own life, they wore their lanyards well I guess and deserve a special mention. 

The therapist who visited my hospital bed afterward doesn’t. 

She took literally my angry insults and invitation to “do one”. No idea if she wore a lanyard or not she wasn’t around long enough for me to notice. I imagine she’d have recorded “failed to engage” straightened her lanyard and moved on to the next bed anyway. 

To be fair usually lanyard wearers and angry teenagers are like oil and water. They just don’t mix. 

Well at least the ones who wear the lanyard properly. You know properly as in “not rocking the boat” ones. "Towing the line", "seen it all before" or the “nine to five” ones. The ones who don’t really give a shit, they just uphold and add to the crappy culture of their crappy lanyard givers. 

I sound bitter. I’m being unfair aren’t I? 

There was this one social worker though. 

“Where’s your lanyard then?” I said, curiosity momentarily replacing mindlessness. “Dunno” he replied “lost it”. 

“If I had a magic wand what could I do for you?” He asked. 

Despite knowing such a thing didn’t exist and knowing if it did he’d likely have lost it along with his lanyard. Despite that, he managed to reach me. 

The missing lanyard was no longer a barrier. 

He met me where I was, giving me a cigarette was probably my first clue he was different and why I’d actually listen when he’d later tell me to quit telling me they were poison and that he’d quit with me. 

So while me and the lanyard wearers have had somewhat of an up and down relationship it wasn’t all bad. 

I’ve carried my healthy (or not so) contempt for authority pretty much all my life. I’m suspicious of systems and am quick to call bullshit on hypocrisy, judgement and jobsworths. 

So it’s sometimes with unease I now wear my own lanyard and feel its heaviness when I too (inexplicably to me) allow it to become a barrier. 

When I am caught in red tape, procedure and policy. When I fall foul of the seductive protection of the "them and us" cynicism that ensures no lines are crossed, and nothing really changes. 

You see being a lanyard wearer now too I have had to challenge my own self satisfied, certain fury. Now I know we all have off days, the systems we serve fail and we don’t get it right for every child. 

Mind you that’s easier to accept when it’s less institutional and more personnel.


I do wonder if our key children and young peoples services needs more influence from those on the other side of the lanyard. I mean when the system worked for you can you ever truly see far less fix its dire failings? 

Question. 

What do you call a collection of landyard wearers? 

Answer:

The System. 

How do we change The System? 

Bottom up or top down? 

Either way it’s only ever going to be by one lanyard wearer at a time. 

A lanyard wearer who will set it aside from time to time, practice self-care but know when to challenge, question and go the extra mile.  Step into the shoes, hold space and refuse to other. 

Realising shared background or not they aren’t an expert on anyone else, they haven’t seen it all before, they aren't better than, they can’t and shouldn’t predict a negative outcome, that there is no black and white just lots and lots of grey.  

A lanyard wearer who sees, hears and listens.  Who looks at each child young person and family as one of their own.  Who believes and holds hope.  

A lanyard wearer who is valued and cared for enough that they too can care and value.

Then maybe we could say 

What Am I?

Denotes help, hope and service is worn around the neck as a symbol of skill and compassion and care.

Answer:

The Lanyard